Beautiful Sorrow
by princess-of-wushu
Summary: He wiped the tears from his eyes before taking his fingers and gently tracing at the long deep scares across her bare chest. He then gently bent over and kissed each one before he cupped her face and gently kissed her lips while whispering " I love you, and no matter what you're still beautiful to me."
1. Chapter 1

**_"Beautiful Sorrow"_**

He wiped the tears from his eyes before taking his fingers and gently tracing at the long deep scares across her bare chest. He then gently bent over and kissed each one before he cupped her face and gently kissed her lips while whispering " I love you, and no matter what you're still beautiful to me."

I can't say how I felt numb, afraid, scared to death. I believe all of these emotions are possible especially for one like me. I had never felt more out of place in a world where I had always found my place than I did now, if it hadn't been for Matt or my best friend Tai. I think I would have ended up dead, I know I would have. Because alone I could hardly even walk, bathe or consider anything else without them. They were my vessels for life.

"**One Year Prior"**

**Chapter 1**

_**Sora's P.O.V**_

"Sora?" I jumped as I heard my name called and quickly threw the papers I was looking at under my pillow and turned to greet him.

"You're home early Matt"

"Yeah, we got done early so they let me leave. What's that?" Matt was leaning against our bedroom door frame and pointing to the papers peeking out of the corner of my pillow.

"Oh, nothing. I'm still trying to sort through things here and get them in order. I didn't expect it to take this long to get the place in order."

I seen him frown and then walk towards me. Pulling me into a hug, He kissed the top of my head. "Sor, we've been here a week. You can't think you would have everything in complete order yet and besides tonight's special. I don't want you working." He pulled me out from our hug and looked at me with his eyes sparkling and spoke again. "Here, take this and head out to the mall and get a new dress and things for tonight and I'll meet you at the restaurant by say 6:30, that ok?"

"Yeah." I grabbed the money from his hand and slumped back down onto the bed. "Alright just give me a minute to change; I don't want to go looking like this." I pointed to my sweats and un-brushed hair. He seemed to buy it; he walked back out of the room. I quickly grabbed the papers and tossed them into my purse with the money he had given me. I ran the brush through my hair and quickly changed into some shorts and a tee.

I'm sure it was 3 hours later and I was still sitting in my car in front of the mall. I had re-read those papers until I had them memorized. I had analyzed them and put them into every perspective, there was no changing what they said. It just involved changing me. I quickly looked into the mirror, my eyes where swollen and I looked like hell. Happy Anniversary to me. Matt and I had now officially been married for 2 years and had just moved into a bigger and nicer apartment. I had no choice but to hope I could pull off looking happy and pretty for this evening. He had been planning it for months now and here I was about to ruin it. I got out and forced my legs to carry me through the mall. What I wouldn't give to have Mimi here with me, but she had to move off to America and drag Izzy with her. She could pull this miracle off.

Took me an hour but I found a simple midnight blue strapless dress that was snug to the hips and then flowed out to the knees. I also bought a pair of strappy silver heels. I paid for the items and realized I only had 10 minutes to get to the beauty salon for my appointment.

Running I made it right on time. Smiling, the girl called me in back and began my transformation. I wanted a simple up do and natural looking makeup. It took 3 girls but they managed, Hair nails and make up, they also let me change in the back, Nikki, Chi and Liz. My Mimi doubles that always took my appointments when I made them. Bless their hearts; they understood just what a tomboy I was. "Sora that ring is still just gorgeous girl. You better keep that man of yours close." Forcing a smile I replied. "Thank you, and trust me I do." Blushing I paid and left a nice tip, glancing down at my 3 carrot princess cut diamond that took up my hand and rushed out the door.

I was tapping my manicured nails on the steering wheel, nearly ready to chew them off as I waited outside the restaurant. Matt had told me not to go inside until he came to get me. Glancing around I spotted him walking towards me in his black suit and famous smile. My heart sank. All that happiness was about to be drained from him. My heart started to race as he opened my door and put his hand out. I smiled and took it. He had no idea just how much I was going to be needing him.

We walked inside and my ears where greeted by live classical musical. Our table had at least 3 dozen roses with lilies, my favorite. Matt pulled my chair our and helped me sit. Sitting across from me he took my hand and kissed it. "I love you, happy anniversary." Yup, there went every bit of courage I had mustered. I felt that lump form in my throat and my eyes swell up. "Oh Matt, this is beautiful. I love you too. Thank you." He was always the perfect gentile men.

He smiled and spoke so sweetly back. "Thank you for being so patient, and everything I've needed to get me where I 'am today and where we are today." What he spoke was of course nothing but the truth; it had been a real challenge. Countless all-nighters, first name bases at the local coffee shop but we pulled it off and he graduated from university with honors and was now a CEO at the local law firm office. I of course graduated early from art school and took up a side of coaching high-school soccer with Tai. Regardless of all of this, I needed to tell him the truth; I couldn't hide it any longer. I was already losing my baring.

"Yamato I , I need to tell you something."

His face instantly changed. He knew I never called him that unless it was important. "What's wrong?"

" well, the truth is I'm sick."

"Do we need to go home?" He instantly went to stand but I put my hands up to stop him. "No, it's not that simple I just can't go home and rest. "

"Then what is it? Please just tell me Sor"

I felt my eyes betray me and the single tears roll down my checks as I spoke. "I have breast cancer and they think the cells are growing rapidly."

He sat there, not moving or seeming like he was breathing for that matter. Then his eyes found mine and for once they were the same, reflecting with fear and uncertainty. "How long have you known?"

"They have been running different tests now for over a month, but everything has come back positive and I've known the truth since this morning. That's what those papers where and I received a phone call from the office.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner Sora?" I seen betrayal form in his eyes but he held it back.

"I didn't know how too, they told me it was nothing to be concerned with, that cysts happen all the time and it would probably be ok. But they were wrong."

I expected him to get upset, to be mad, but that wasn't the case, Not at all. He stood up and grabbed me into his arms. I wrapped mine back around in return "Sora, No matter what, I'm going to help you through this. I love you." I heard him choke up and whisper. "God."

_**Matt's P.O.V**_

first I was hurt that she didn't tell me right away , but I quickly realized it wasn't about how I felt, in fact it didn't matter at all. She needed me and I was going to make sure she got everything she needed. I remember just holding her in my arms for what felt like forever. I didn't want to let go. She was my best friend, my wife and the person I loved above all. I didn't want to lose her.


	2. Chapter 2

"_**Beautiful Sorrow"**_

Since that night at the restaurant, nothing had improved for me. I was now on medical leave at the high-school and the doctor had met with Matt and me to discuss my treatment and outcome statistics. He explained to us that I had IBC. Inflammatory breast cancer, a rare but aggressive form that had to be treated quickly, I was to start with higher levels of chemo, and then I would have the surgery to remove my breast as long as the cancer had shrunk in size. I now felt as though I had fallen from this world and landed in a continuous nightmare. Or hell on earth may be more exact.

**Chapter 2**

_**Tai's P.O.V**_

"I have you Sky, its ok." I was shaking as I helped her to the bathroom. It was the 3rd time she had gotten sick after today's treatment. It was hard to believe this was my co-captain from soccer and best friend from child hood. Matt had phoned me last night after Sora had finally fallen asleep and asked if I could come over and be with her today because he was on a mandatory shift. I had no problem with it. I nearly lived here anyway now. Nothing has been the same since Sora talked to me that day.

**Flashback**

I fell back onto the black leather couch and stretched. "Man, I love this new place. Matt has got some style after all." I looked over to see Sora staring down at the floor and twiddling with her hands. I sat back up and lent over and grabbed her hand. "Hey, what's wrong Sora? You can tell me."

She looked at me and smiled. "I know Tai, and I need to tell you." I frowned; it wasn't like her to be this out of it. We only had one bad mouth kid this year that had a real problem with authority from younger adults. That couldn't be it, she loved those kids.

"Then what is it?"

She looked away from me and spoke low. "I have breast cancer. "

"What?" She looked back at me and shook her head. "Yup, that's it. I have to start my treatments next week, it's moving rapidly."

She looked so numb, like the pain had frozen her. "Sora I'm sorry." I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her. "Hey if you need anything at all, you know where to find me."

"I know, thank you."

**End Flashback**

She was so weak she could barely stand. I handed her the towel for her face and a small cup of water so she could rinse her mouth. Afterwords I helped her stand, I put her arm around my neck and grabbed it and put my other arm around her waist. Took a few moments but I got her back into her bed and covered up. She rolled onto her side and sighed. "I'm sorry you have to waste your day here babysitting me."

"Hey now, don't talk like that, besides I owe it to you. Remember all those days you took care of my hung over ass in collage? Huh?"

I was kneeling down beside her; I moved her hair and tucked it behind her ear gently. She was already so weak and tired. Her hair had already begun to fall out too. She looked at me and smiled weakly. "Yeah I guess so."

"That a girl. Try to get some rest and I'm going to clean up a bit. Anything I can get you first?"

"No, oh and Tai."

"Yeah?"

"I talked to Matt and we decided if you're going to be here with me all the time, like you already are, that you could move into the spare bedroom."

I smiled for the first time that day. "That would be great Sora. Now get some rest, ring if you need me.

_**Matt's P.O.V**_

I sat at my desk with my head in my hands. I was on maybe 3 hours of sleep. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't fall asleep last night. Every time Sora moved I jumped. I ran my hand through my hair and then looked down at my ring. Sighing, I thought about how much I hated being stuck here at my job while Sora was at home sick. I knew she was being taken care of, it's just I would rather be the one doing it, Nothing against Tai that was. He's my best friend and like another brother to me. Truth is, I was extremely grateful for him right now. Sora wouldn't let a nurse come to the house to care for her. She said she didn't want somebody she didn't know telling her what to do. I laughed. That was Sora, sweet Sora. Then Tai offered and she accepted. It was a sigh of relief at least. One last thing I would need to worry about. I had everybody and their brother calling me on my cell and the house, asking how she was or how I was handling it. I was about ready to turn the phones off or throw them out the window. I heard a knock on my door and looked up to see T.k. At least I was happy to see him, unless he was bringing more work with him that was.

"Hey Kiddo, what's up?"

"I figured you could use this coffee. You look rough man."

"Thanks."

"How did today's treatment go?"

"Tai text me saying she's already gotten sick 3 times and is trying to sleep now. She's one of the ones that gets worse with every treatment they said." Silence filled in around us.

That was the best part of T.k, he knew when there wasn't anything right to say to me, he just sat in silence with me and it wasn't weird. I looked over at him and noticed he was looking up at Sora and I's wedding picture. She looked absolutely stunning that day. I couldn't imagine another woman shining like she did to me. Her gown was from Italy, it was strapless and hugged her all the way down until the bottom where it twisted and flowed out. It sparkled all over. I had on a white tux to match, it was an amazing time. We were married in Paris where we stayed for two weeks after for our honey moon. It was hard to believe that I might lose her and memories would be all I had. Before tears started to swell up I looked away and spoke up.

"So, you wanna come over and have dinner with us tonight?"

"Yeah, that would be great, Sora won't mind me there?"

"Nah, not you anyway."

The rest of my day dragged on and I bore through it. T.k met me in the parking garage where we climbed into my black BMW. I worked 20 minutes away from our house, and the sucky part was traffic. I hated it. But it was quicker than the subway.

We reach the house and I took a deep breath before heading for the door. T.k looked at me and raised an eyebrow. We heard music playing along with really bad singing. I shrugged my shoulders and opened the door and walked in to find Tai in a pink apron, singing along to "Dude looks like a lady" and dusting.

"Welcome home Matt, hey T.k." He continued singing right after and then abruptly stopped and dropped the duster. My heart sank. "What's wrong?"

Tai ran passed me and my brother and into the kitchen yelling "My cake!"

T.k looked at me and quickly spoke. "I'm headed to the living room, and about that conversation earlier, I don't think you need a maid you have Tai." T.k then smacked my shoulder and left.

I slipped my shoes off and headed for the master bedroom. I quietly opened the door and looked in. Sora was sleeping soundly. It was a sigh of relief to see her actually resting. I tiptoed over to the bed and knelt down beside her. "You're so beautiful Sor and I'm so sorry I can't be here all the time." I laid my head against her and closed my eyes. I quickly opened them when I heard her soft voice.

"Your home"

"Yeah baby, I'm here. How are you feeling?"

"Tired and a little weak is all."

I gently kissed her lips "I love you"

"I love you too Matt"

"T.k is joining us for dinner that ok?"

"I probably won't be eating,but yes. I don't mind him. He brightens this place up"

"You need to try at least a little bit of soup, mom dropped some off last night for you."

"I'll try"

I spent at least an hour cuddled up on our bed just holding her. It was hard to not have her by me anymore. I didn't want to waste a second of time away from her that I didn't need too. Nothing would be worth losing time for. But the thought that I could actually lose her just killed me, I couldn't think of it. It tore my insides apart. Once more Sora's voice broke me from my thoughts.

"Matt, will you think of me the same even when all of my hair is gone?"

"I will not think of you any different than I do now."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm positive"

We both looked up when we heard a knock on the door. "Come in."

T.k walked in and stood by the bed. "Tai has dinner ready for us in the living room tonight."

"Thanks T.k will be right there."

I climbed off our four poster bed and walked over to Sora's side where I scooped her up into my arms and carried her out into the living room. I gently sat her down on the couch where Tai handed me her throw and covered her up.

"Here you go Sora, our moms perfectly homemade organic chicken noodle soup just for you." Sora smiled and grabbed her bowl. "Thank you T.k."

"And for desert, I made you vanilla pudding to accompany our vanilla cake." Chirped in Tai's voice. I looked over at the table that Tai had prepared and read the cake and laughed.

"Life hits hard, but you have a mean strike girl!"

We all laughed, and remembered the day Sora hit Tai with the soccer ball in the face. But the best part about that evening, Sora actually was able to eat some and keep it down.

The moments that become our daily life are the ones we realize we always miss the most. I never thought at 25, I would be fighting breast cancer with my wife or fighting myself to keep a positive outcome in my mind when everything around me told me otherwise. One thing was for sure, I wasn't about to give up the hope that kept burning in me. This life of ours wasn't over yet.


	3. Chapter 3

_**A:N -**_I have finally completed not one but two chapters for your viewing pleasure. I have been extra critical of my own work on this story, it means so much to me for breast cancer awareness and I've done research and made sure everything is just how it should be. I want to thank you all for reviewing, it inspires and encourages me to continue. A very special thank you to the following. You guys are amazing!

**mahwish1**

**Sora Loves Rain**

**HitachiinLoversz**

**Neon765 **

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_** Beautiful Sorrow **_

** Chapter 3**

_**Y**ou know the things in life that seem to take us by surprise or the ones that we take for granted? Well, I've learned to accept them and forgive the others. Life is too short to stay upset at a world that wouldn't miss you if you where to fall from it._

**Sora's P.O.V**

I couldn't handle the pain anymore, it was agonizing. Nothing I had here at the house was working.

"Tai!" Matt yelled while he was jumping into a pair of jeans and trying to get a t-shirt on. I was of no use; I lay curled into a ball on our bed silently crying from the pain I felt deep into my bones. They told me this could end up happening. I never imagined in my life it would be like this. Our door quickly opened and Tai came staggering in with one eye open.

"What's wrong?"

"It's Sora, I've gotta take her in. She's in way too much pain. Can you either pull the car around or sit with her while I do it?, Just something."

Tai stood up straight and placed his hand on Matt's shoulder. "Matt, you get her ready; I'll go and pull the car around. Just breath, we have her."

"Thanks."

I can't say I remember much until I got to the hospital, it was like I was floating in and out of consciousness. At this moment, I already wanted to give up the fight. I felt Matt wrap his arms around me, pick me up and carry me out of our place. The cool night air felt good against my hot face. I laid my head against him as he held tightly onto me while Tai drove. The next thing I remember was waking up in a hospital bed with Matt sleeping on the chair next to my bed holding my hand and Tai passed out in the other one.

I glanced around and started to freak out, I had an IV, oxygen and felt like I had been hit with a brick. I felt myself headed for hyperventilation if that was even possible while wearing an oxygen mask. I started shaking Matt's hand and trying to speak to him.

"Matt"

He didn't even move, I just heard his voice mumble out from his sleeping head. "Yeah?"

"What's going on?" I didn't even recognize my own voice as it carried through the mask. On the inside I was feeling extreme anxiety take over.

He slowly sat up and then bent over and kissed my forehead. "It's ok, I'm right here. Just after the nurse got you in back last night you passed out baby. They had to give you an IV, you where extremely dehydrated which was escalating your pain. So they gave you a morphine drip and then had to give you an oxygen mask because your counts too low."

**Matt's P.O.V**

I took her hand and kissed it. I could see her emotional pain building. I glanced at the clock on the wall. It was 8:45am; we had been here since 3:30am this morning. No way was I making it to work.

"It's going to be ok Sora, they said after your stable for a day or so, you'll be able to go back home as long as everything is under control."

She turned her face away from me; she took her free hand and wiped her tears that had started to come. I quickly leaned over and cupped her face. "Hey no tears, ok?" She smiled and took my hand with hers and closed her eyes. I sat back down never letting go. I took my free hand and pulled my cell out and sent my secretary a message that I couldn't make it in due to an emergency. I looked over at Tai and shook my head. He had pulled the metal food tray over and lowered it to prop his feet on and had both arms hanging freely on the sides of the chair. Only Tai.

After 2 days they released Sora and we headed back home. Sora was sitting on the edge of our bed while I drew her bath. I knew it relaxed her the most. I poured in the bath milk and set the jets to low. When I turned the corner I noticed Sora running her fingers over a picture of us on the night stand. I slowly walked up to her and dropped down in front of her.

"You alright?"

"I guess"

"What do you mean?"

"Just, I bet when you married me you weren't expecting anything like this to happen huh?"

"Sora, listen to me, when I married you . I took every one of those vows to heart and I'm going to stand by them." I stood and kissed the top of her head and then helped to steady her into the bath.

"I'm going to tidy up the room and change the sheets, just let me know when your ready ok?"

She nodded her head as she closed her eyes and slid further down into the water to relax.

**Sora's **

I rubbed my arms in a shudder. I was cold, I knew the warmth from the water would warm me quickly enough though. Sighing to myself, I dreaded tomorrow. I had another treatment and they where just making me sicker and sicker. I didn't see how making me feel this awful could heal someone. I felt tears swell up in my eyes again as I thought of the short life Matt and I had lived together and that I might not make it through this.

No matter how hard I tried to stay strong, I couldn't. I felt as though I would never have control of my life again. The tears slid down my face as my fear swam over me. I had no idea how Matt and Tai where doing what they where for me. How could they stay so strong? And me not capable of it at all. I heard Matt's foot steps and quickly splashed water over my face.

"Hey, I have the bed changed and here's some clean pajamas's for you."

A smile spread across my face. "Thank you, I'm almost finished. I'm going to wash and then be out."

"Alright, ring when your ready"

_**Tai's P.O.V**_

I lay on the couch watching pointless TV in a pair of old sweats and t-shirt when I heard Matt walk in and flop down on the couch. He sat there motionless for a few moments. I looked him over. He looked awful. He had bags under his eyes, his face had stubble on it and he jumped at the slightest sound in fear it was Sora needing him. I couldn't explain the love or devotion I witnessed here, I thought it only existed in books or fairy tales. But no, his love for my best friend was that strong. Matt interrupted my train of thought.

"Tai, it's Friday night. Why don't you go and do something. I can handle things here for awhile."

I sat up and looked at him. "To be honest, I don't feel right going out and having fun while Sora is just laying here being incapable of enjoying anything."

"You know, she thinks she has stopped both of our lives with all of this. I told her no. I live for her, I love her with everything in my being. I couldn't imagine not being here for her at all. She's my other half"

I heard Matt choke up and stop his self. I glanced up at him and seen his eyes full of tears.

"Matt, you know I'm not just here for Sky right? And I know you can't hold it together forever, you have to let go sometimes."

Matt laid his head down into his hands and I heard him release the breath that brought his tears. I laid my hand on his shoulder and gave him time. I knew he and Sora meant well, wanting me to go out and enjoy some time, but I knew this is where I needed to be.

"Where going to make it through this Matt. No matter what, that girl in there is the toughest person I have met in my life."

Matt wiped his face and spoke. "I know, I just want to make sure that I stay strong enough for her too."

I smiled and replied. "You will Matt, just remember your not doing this alone. I'm here and so are our families and friends."

Matt smiled. "Thanks man"

_**Matt's P.O.V**_

I washed my face in the sink, I had just got done shaving. I had already helped Sora to bed and regained some form of strength. I wiped my face down with a towel, and clicked the bathroom light off as I walked out into our bedroom. I crawled into bed and laid my head down, I rolled onto my side and placed an arm gently around Sora. As I closed my eyes her sweet voice drifted through the air.

"Matt, will you sing to me?"

I was taken aback at first, I hadn't sang in a very long time. I sort of laughed out loud. "Sor, I don't know if I even remember how to, that all seems so long ago."

She rolled to face me. "Not really, not when you consider all that has happened. Please, try for me. I want to fall asleep peacefully one last time."

I pulled her gently inclose to me and wrapped my arms around her. I feared losing her most in this world now and if this is what she wanted then so be it. I closed my eyes and let the first song I could think of flow through my lips.

"**I'll be your dream, I'll be your wish, I'll be your fantasy, I'll be your hope, I'll be your love, be everything that you need, I'll love you more with every breath truly, madly, deeply, do. I will be strong, I will be faithful cause I'm counting on a new beginning, a reason for living. A deeper meaning. **

**I wanna stand with you on a mountain, I wanna bathe with you in the sea, I wanna lay like this forever, until the sky falls down on me. And when the stars are shining brightly in the velvet sky, I'll make a wish send it to heaven, then make you want to cry, The tears of joy for all the pleasure and certainty. That we're surrounded by the comfort and protection of the highest powers, in lonely hours, the tears that devour you. Oh, can you see it baby? You don't have to close your eyes cause it's standing right before you. All that you need will surely come...I love you more with every breath truly, madly, deeply, do" **

I looked down to find Sora comfortably sleeping. A sigh of relief spread over me and soon sleep found me too.

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Song Matt sings "Truly, madly, deeply" -By: Savage Garden


	4. Chapter 4

_**A:N** _And here is chapter four. I hope you guys enjoy. Please R&amp;R :) As always, happy reading! Also, this isn't my favorite chapter, but I'm already working on five and it will be much better.

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_**Beautiful Sorrow**_

**Chapter 4**

**Sora's P.O.V**

"I'm so sorry Mrs. Ishida. I really thought we had a chance, that we caught it soon enough."

Those words, they kept repeating in my mind, rolling throughout it without any permission of mine. I had sunk further into a depressed state, since my meeting with the doctor on Thursday. My last biopsy results had came back bad. The cancer cells had now spread to my other breast and where progressing rapidly. The disease is known for its rapid progression but my doctor thought he had caught it in time ,and that my chemo treatments would have prevented it. I was now faced with two choices.

Tears swam into my eyes again. I was alone in my room, sitting on my bed. My head was propped on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. I had made Matt go to work and Tai to the school where he was needed for coaching the soccer team. They both had faught with me, but in the end I had lost my temper and yelled at them both.

_**Flashback**_

"You can't hover over me like a child! I need space,"

"Sora I"

"Can it, Yamato. I'm in no mood, I'm tired of everyone thinking their lives cannot resume as normal because I came home with worse news. You both have a job and need to keep it. Therefore, your both going to them tomorrow morning. I'll be just fine, here at home."

"Sky, you shouldn't be alone. What if something happens?"

"Taichi, I'm a grown up. If something happens, then it happens. I'm going to end up dead anyway. What's it matter if you find my body right away or a few hours later?"

"Sora, don't talk like that. You can't." Matt's face was flushed. I could tell he was fighting back tears of anger, he was sacred I had given up. And at this point. I felt like it.

"Look. This is all my choice and you both have to deal with it. Either respect my wishes or leave." With that I turned around and walked to my room where I slammed the door behind me.

_**End Flashback**_

I let the tears slip away from me. I didn't want to die. I just felt like it was inching closer and closer. I had canceled my last chemo treatment. What was the point? They weren't helping anything. Just making me sick, I couldn't function. At least like this, I could live my life. Carry on with what I had left. I had lost hope of making it another year. I wiped my tears on my sleeve. I was simply pathetic at the moment. All those women in the empowerment programs, I had no idea how they continued to smile. Had they fallen this far? Or let go?, before they seen any form of hope or a chance for one? How could I not have that strength?

I slid back against my head board. I did have strength, But to be honest, I couldn't rely solely on them anymore. I needed to find it within myself. I had to call the doctor on Monday with my decision. That's as long as he was giving me. Two options, sure doesn't seem like much when one is faced with death either way.

I could refuse surgery, a double mastectomy and removal of the glands and such surrounding it. Or, I could have it. My chances of survival without the surgery aren't great, they said at this rate I may make it a year. If I have the surgery, I'm given more time, if the cancer doesn't return, my chances could be even greater.

I closed my eyes. I know everyone expects me to have the surgery. To have that greater chance of survival. I just, I couldn't fathom what it will be like without my breasts. I felt empty inside. I felt like I could scream. I was losing my hair, my ability move freely, and now, They wanted me to freely give up my breasts for a chance at living. It was a gamble and the doctor knew it. Always is with cancer. A knock at the door snapped me out of my misery. I heard the door crack and Tai stuck his head in.

"Mind If I join you?"

"No, come on in."

Tai walked across the room and sat down next to me. His hair was wet. He must have showered before coming to see me. It was already drying funny and sticking up at odd angles. It made me smile. Atleast something did.

"Sky, Listen. About last night. We know all of this is your choice and you need time to figure it out. It's just. Whatever you do decide, I want you to know I support you and I know this isn't easy. This effects us all. Matt, he. He wants to do everything in his power to make you happy and comfortable. And I want to help him. Your my best friend Sora."

I felt my tears return. "Tai, thank you" They slipped away from me as I spoke. Tai looked at me. He looked crushed. I couldn't help it. I laid my head on his shoulder and sobbed. He just wrapped his arms around me and soothed me. Speaking reassuring words and telling me it was ok to let go.

I spoke out.

"I don't know how to manage this. I've always had my life under control and everything in order. And now, I'm letting Matt down. I'm failing as a wife, a friend and as a woman. I can't handle it. How did I ever miss judge with my health or do something so awful that I earned this type of punishment?"

"Shhhh, Sky, you're not letting anyone down. Ok? You can't control this, it's out of everyone's power. And you've never done anything in your life to deserve this. That I'm sure of. And Matt doesn't think you're letting him down, or failing him, He's worried your giving up on your self to soon. He knows what a fighter you are. He knows no matter what, you're stronger than this. And so are we. Your not alone and we don't want you signing yourself over to death ,when the battle isn't half over."

I didn't know what to do or say, My tears wouldn't stop. So I just remained still and let him talk.

"Hey, you remember our state championship game?"

I was taken aback but managed a weak reply. "Yeah"

"Well, in that game it wasn't quite half way through and we where losing horribly. You gathered the team as co-captain and gave a pep talk. You told all of us we where playing like we had already lost the game and had our tails tucked between our legs. You said it wasn't acceptable play for a championship game or a winning team. You told us to get out there and play like it was starting game. And we did. I remember giving it my all, and you led us to victory. The tables turned and we ended up winning 46 to

20, taking home the trophy that year."

I had finally stopped crying, and sat up wiping my eyes again on my sleeve. "What does this have to do with anything?"

"You're giving up, playing this cancer like its already won, and it hasn't Sky. If it had, you wouldn't be here now. It's time to give this the old Sora go and beat it. The games only half over, and we are getting our 2nd chance and we're going to win."

I smiled, and laughed a little. Only Tai would use soccer as an approach to someone with cancer, as a pick me up pep talk. But, it worked. I knew what I needed to do and I was going to do it.

"Thank you Tai. I needed that. Oddly enough, it all made sense."

Tai smiled. "Good, I love you Sky, I hate seeing you this way. Everyone does. All the kids send their love and said they are cheering for you. They even said if you go ahead with the operation. They all plan on playing their hardest and bringing you the trophy this year, in honor of all you've ever done for them. Them kids have faith in you."

I smiled and wiped another round of tears away.

**Later that night**

**Matt's P.O.V**

"Tai, you're crazy. But I owe you so much. Without you, my wife may have just walked away from her life. And I couldn't bear watching her slowly die without a fighting chance."

Tai was leaning against our bar in the kitchen. He looked weighed down with something heavy. I knew he was. I knew this was hard for him too. He and Sora had been childhood friends since they could remember. The fear of losing her weighed heavy on us all.

"Matt, I may have convinced her to go ahead with it. But this was the easy part. After Monday, all hell is going to break loose. She is going to need you more than anything else. She fears she is letting you down and failing you. She cried so hard about it. It killed me."

"Damn-it!" I slammed the counter tops with both hands. "Why is she so worried about me? She is the most selfless person I know. I love her, I love her more and more. This disease hasn't stopped any of that. Why can't she see that?

I was so mad, mad at this situation. Mad at cancer. I hated it. Why was it trying to take her away from me? She deserved so much more than this in life.

"Matt, you can't beat yourself up man. You know how she is. It's who she is. She always has been like that. Worried about others instead of herself."

"She needs to be worried about herself. I just don't know how to convince her of that."

"She'll come around."

I looked up at Tai and replied. "Yeah, but will it be when she's on the operating table and the doctor comes to tell me she isn't pulling through?, that she realizes she should have just let go and cared for herself more than she had? What if I lose her?, and she never realizes how much I love her just the way she is. Imperfection, terminal illness, hairless, she is still the woman who stole my heart and will take it to her grave along with me. Nothing in this world will ever change that." I slumped into the chair behind me and buried my face into my hands.

Sora's smile, weakness peering through it and taking over, haunting me every time I closed my eyes. I felt shattered.

* * *

Song inspiration : **"Broken" Seether &amp; Amy Lee - "Demons" Imagine Dragons** \- Without these artists, I may have never overcame writers block!


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N **I can honestly say as a writer, this chapter was a deeper, and more emotion felt one for me to write. I tried to hit different areas and express each ones views on the stage Sora has going on right now. Sorry it took so long guys, but here it is! Happy reading!

Also a HUGE thank you to the following for your wonderful, inspirational filled reviews. I read them several times over and really truly was honored to have such wonderful things said. Again, thank you so much!

**Sweet Cari**

**Neon765**

**HitachiinLoversz **

**mahwish1**

**Sora Loves Rain **

* * *

"**Beautiful Sorrow"**

**Chapter 5**

**Matt's P.O.V**

I was a nervous wreck, we had been at the doctors office for over an hour now. They had put up the scans of Sora's breasts and showed us how rapidly the disease really was moving. It was now in both of them, and was still spreading, the doctor stated at this rate she wouldn't even make it the year he had spoke of last week without operating; and doing it quickly. Sora had agreed. The papers where signed and now they where running a series of tests to see how well her body would react to the surgery.

Blood work, chest x-rays, EKG's all the normal. But the next step where the more aggressive ones. She also had to go through a series of stress tests. The doctor stated how important it was to move quickly, but along with this, he stressed the high risk factors Sora was facing with going under. Her body had reacted badly to the chemo, she had lost a lot of strength. Her outcome was lower than average but at this point, it was really our only option.

Sora walked thru the door leading back into her examination room they had told me to wait in. I jumped up and hugged her before she could even speak. I held her out in front of me. "Are you holding up ok? You look pale."

She smiled up at me and replied. "Yeah, I'm just tired. The testing is over. The doctor said I could change back into my regular clothes and would be back in shortly to finish up with us."

"Ok." I kissed her forehead and helped steady her while she changed. She was so shaky. I hated seeing her like this and not being able to change it.

We sat back down and waited patiently for the doctor to come back in. I was holding her hand. I could tell she was as nervous as I was. We knew the worse was to come.

Later that night I drew her bath and let her relax some. In the morning we would hear from surgical registration. I would handle all I could from this point on, I wanted her to do nothing but rest and be at ease. I had planned a dinner for tomorrow night for our family and friends. Sora wanted to see them all before hand. I thought a party might be good for her. I Had a surprise in store, I wanted to give her in front of them. I tore myself away from my thoughts and wondered out to my living room to find Tai.

"Hey man"

Tai looked up and seemed to shake his own mind free of thoughts. I noticed his eyes where blood shot. He hadn't spoken much since we had been home and gave him the news from the doctors office.

"Uh hey, Sora finally resting?"

I walked over and took my normal spot on the couch next to Tai. I took a breath and replied. "Yeah, she's in the tub now."

This had become a custom with Tai and I, about every night or every time Sora rested. I came out here and joined him on the couch. I was so scared of disturbing her. Besides the times she asks me to stay, I leave. Pretty sure I need to see a chiropractor for my neck from falling asleep on this couch and my head falling and neck snapping me awake so many times.

"That's good, she needs that."

"So, tomorrow is the gathering, everyone will be here around 5pm, Miss. Maria will have everything set a little beforehand. I'm taking Sora to the beauty parlor early in the morning. She is having her hair done. Or at least what's left." I felt my voice crack as the last of my sentence left me.

Tai looked over at me and just patted my back. I never knew a struggle like this could exist, so strong, so deep. My family, our friends. Had been so compassionate and caring. Every moment, so far along this terrible journey, Sora has known she's loved and had support.

"Hey Tai, could you do me a favor?"

"Sure, what's up man?"

"I've been working on a song for Sora, She's asked me to sing her to sleep a few times since all this started and I decided I wanted to write her something. Could you give my rough draft a gander and give me your opinion?"

"Without a problem, You're going to sing it to her at the dinner aren't you?"

I felt my face blush, I hadn't performed in front of an audience since I was in high school. "I want too, I just hope my voice stays strong with me." I reach in my pocket and handed Tai a crumpled piece of paper.

"Wow, such a professional high up lawyer and you hand me this. This looks like a 2 year old drew it Matt." Tai smirked as he opened the paper and started to scan over it.

"Shut up, I'm going to go check on her, and not a word of this or my professional job, got it?"

Tai waved me on. "Yeah, yeah. Get out of here."

**Tai's P.O.V**

A few of the sentences really stuck out at me, and I couldn't help but feel Matt's love for my best friend in this crumbled piece of a disaster, written into a song. It was beautiful. I knew Sora was going to love it. I slipped the paper into my own pocket and got up and walked down the hall into my room. I closed the door behind me; kicked my jeans off and jumped into my flannel bottoms. I tossed my t-shirt into a pile of dirty clothes. I walked over and sat on the edge of my bed. I looked at my nightstand. I had a picture on it, Sora and I stood there with the last group of kids we coached together. Sora was radiant. She was knelt down next to our smallest player, she was a foster kid. Sora took to her right away. Coached her after the team left, would give her a ride home, some days even take her to lunch. I felt my eyes begin to fill with tears, how could the most beautiful person I knew inside and out, end up with cancer? Sora had always been there for me, we had been the best of friends ever since I could remember. And now, I might lose her. God, why? It was almost like losing a part of me. I felt the tears roll down my face. I laid my head into my hands and cried. I couldn't hold it back anymore. I couldn't withstand the thought anymore; of what this life was going to be like without someone who was always around. Her smile lit up every room she ever entered. I cried until my head hurt, and my chest ached.

**The next morning**

**Sora's P.O.V**

I stood looking in the mirror, I had lost weight, my skin was pale, and my hair had fallen out in different sections. I was glad at least today, I was able to go get it fixed. I had my wedding band on a chain around my neck, with all the weight I had lost it no longer fit. Matt had offered to have it re-sized but I refused. I told him it was something I could work towards, a personal goal. Hardly any of my clothes fit properly, finally I had found a pair of jeans in the back of my closet that fit. I slipped them on and a nice loose blouse. It was a pale peach. One of Matt's favorites. He had planned today for me, to spend it with my family and loved ones. The hospital had called this morning, and I went in next week. This was it. Either the end or my chance at life again. I turned to find Matt standing in the doorway smiling.

I was nervous as I sat in the chair at the beauty salon, Matt said he had a surprise for me and had left to go pick it up for tonight. I was waiting for my beautician to come out, I had decided I wanted them to save what they could and style it the best she could. I was about to get up and ask where she was when I looked up in the mirror and placed my hand over my mouth in shock.

I felt tears swim before my eyes as I stood up "Mimi?, is that you?"

A tall, brown curly haired young woman was walking towards me quickly. Her arms outstretched. She met me and pulled me into a huge hug. "Oh Sora!"

"I can't believe your here, how? When?" I stepped back and wiped my eyes.

Mimi did the same before she replied. "Last night, Matt called us and set up for us to fly out here and be with you this week and for tonight's dinner"

I felt shamed that my best-friend had to see me before I had my hair styled or what was left of it. I felt my face flush. "I'm sorry you had to see me beforehand, I don't know where my stylist is." I glanced looking for her again. I couldn't believe how late she was. Mimi grabbed onto me, placing her hands on my shoulders, looking like she still wanted to cry. "It' me Sora, I'm doing your hair. When I heard you wanted it styled. I called ahead and told them I would do it."

"Oh Mimi" Tears came back into my eyes and before I could spill anymore of them Mimi pulled me into another hug. I looked up and Saw Matt standing by the door with Izzy. I whispered "Thank you" to him. He smiled in return and Izzy gave a small wave. This meant the most to me.

_**2 hours later**_

I stood shaking, as I was ready to pull my dress on for tonight's dinner. Everyone was here. I just hoped I didn't fall too ill. I wanted to enjoy this with them. Mimi managed to keep me some bangs in the front, the back was buzzed to a pixie level, and a little longer on the sides but not much. I had lost too much from the excessive chemo treatments. Matt walked in and smiled.

"You're beautiful Sora."

He walked up to me and held me tightly for a moment. He kissed me briefly before helping me into my dress. He picked it up earlier today, It was another shade of peach. It was a low v cut in the front and back, body shaped to the knee and pure silk. It was beautiful. He also had transferred my ring onto a pearl necklace. I clasped my earrings in and slipped my tan pumps on and smiled when I looked in the mirror, At least tonight; I would feel pretty, maybe even beautiful as he called me.

"Are you ready my love? All our guests are waiting for you" He held out his arm, the perfect gentleman, and I gladly took it.

I walked out into our family room and instantly was brought to tears. Everybody had dressed for the occasion. There where roses and lilies placed about, a banner in my honor and a small bar set up with different wines and chocolates.

"Oh guys, I love you all so much. And I'm so glad you could all make it here tonight."

The first to hug me was Kari. She cried, I cried. Then T.k broke us up so he could get a hug in himself. After them was Joe, He looked so sad.

Now Sora, I know all these surgeons and staff. I'll be on that unit. If you need me, you call for me ok? Oh hell, I'll probably have had 5 coffee's and paced a hole in the floor with the rest of the gang. I'll be there, working or not. Where still a team." He pulled me into a huge hug, and then excused him self to the wine cart.

During my evening of visiting, of friendship, of love and laughter. Matt never left my side. He would move for people to hug me and then he was right back. Our parents where here, and all 8 of us from childhood. I couldn't have asked for a better night. As the evening progressed I could feel myself growing tired, my body wanting to give in. But I struggled on. I wouldn't let this night be ruined.

We where all seated for dinner. And I had noticed Matt had left. I turned to T.k. "Do you know where he went?"

"No I don't, I'm sure he just ran to the bathroom or something. That dang wine runs right through you." T.k smiled and I joined him. He was probably right. Then I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was Tai.

I turned to face him. "What's up?"

"Matt went to get your last surprise"

My last surprise, what's he doing? I let my mind wander as I looked for him.

_**Matt's P.O.V **_

My heart was racing as I walked down the hall with my guitar in hand. I walked into the family room and took my place at the stool I had Tai get ready for me moments earlier and spoke up.

"Hey everybody. As you all know, A long time ago, There was this crazy rock star, he thought he knew it all and had it all; That was until a certain young woman came into his life, and changed it. She changed him. She taught him how to love, how to be patient, and most importantly, she taught me how to be myself. That person is the reason we're all gathered here tonight. To celebrate her, and uplift her. To let her know, how much she means to us and how much we love her. And for me, that's my life. Because with out her I wouldn't have one. She has pushed me to be the man I am today. Sora, You're more than my wife, or my best friend, your my center. I love you. And to express all these emotions and feelings. I have been working on a special song."

If my heart wasn't racing, it was now. I felt like it might beat right out of my chest. I sat on the stool and looked at Sora. She was smiling so big. I mouthed "I love you" before I began.

_**When your legs don't work like they used to before  
And I can't sweep you off of your feet  
Will your mouth still remember the taste of my love?  
Will your eyes still smile from your cheeks?**_

_**And darling I will be loving you 'til we're 70**_  
_**And baby my heart could still fall as hard at 23**_  
_**And I'm thinking 'bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways**_  
_**Maybe just the touch of a hand**_  
_**Well, me I fall in love with you every single day**_  
_**And I just wanna tell you I am**_  
_**So honey now**_  
_**Take me into your loving arms**_  
_**Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars**_  
_**Place your head on my beating heart**_  
_**I'm thinking out loud**_  
_**That maybe we found love right where we are**_

_**When my hair's all but gone and my memory fades**_  
_**And the crowds don't remember my name**_  
_**When my hands don't play the strings the same way**_  
_**I know you will still love me the same**_

_**'Cause honey your soul could never grow old, it's evergreen**_  
_**And baby your smile's forever in my mind and memory**_  
_**I'm thinking 'bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways**_  
_**Maybe it's all part of a plan**_  
_**Well, I'll just keep on making the same mistakes**_  
_**Hoping that you'll understand**_  
_**But baby now**_

_**Take me into your loving arms**_  
_**Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars**_  
_**Place your head on my beating heart**_  
_**Thinking out loud**_  
_**That maybe we found love right where we are**_

_**So baby now**_  
_**Take me into your loving arms**_  
_**Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars**_  
_**Oh darling, place your head on my beating heart**_  
_**I'm thinking out loud**_  
_**That maybe we found love right where we are**_  
_**Oh baby we found love right where we are**_

_**And we found love right where we are**_

As I finished singing, my family and friends broke out into applause. My brother Whistled As I walked past, My mom was crying. Tai smacked my rear and yelled after me. "Get'em tiger!" As I ushered forward with my vision on her, on Sora. I heard them all saying it was beautiful. But that wasn't what I wanted, I wanted to hold her in my arms and tell her up close that I loved her. I saw her stand from her chair, she had been crying again. Then it happened. It was like slow motion, I saw the whites of her eyes, her knees collapse and her fall backward hitting her head on the chair as she went down. I felt my voice leave me as I ran to her.

"SORA!" Everyone around me froze, except for Joe, he ran towards her, somehow his medical bag already in hand.

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**A/N**

**Song Matt sings " Thinking out loud" By Ed Sheeran **

**Well, I hope I didn't disappoint anybody, I'm working on Chapter 6 now. **


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N **Here is the long awaited Chapter 6, I feel content with it. and I really hope you all enjoy it! A very special Thank you to the following "

**SkuAg**

**666666666666666666666666666666**

Thank you guys so much for you're inspiring words and inspiration! Happy reading!

* * *

"**Beautiful Sorrow" **

**Chapter 6**

**Matt's P.O.V**

I knelt down beside her, shaking, I went to touch her and Joe snapped. "Don't! I have to be sure and stable her head correctly, she has a laceration at the Occipital belly, and I'm afraid her neck may be fractured. There, hold her like that." Joe had grabbed my hands and placed them where they needed to be. "We have to restart her heart, she isn't breathing." I felt my own heart drop.

Joe looked up at me, completely gone was my scattered, nervous friend. Instead, he was completely calm and in control. "Matt, Focus, we only have a moments time. If you can't do this, let someone else."

I shook my head and knelt and per-paired for CPR, never in my life had I expected to be giving my 25 year wife CPR. Joe was doing compression, and I was breathing into her lungs with as much force as I could. In-between pumps, I heard one of them yell the Ambulance was on its way. I felt a hand on my shoulder and glanced to see T.k at my side.

"Joe, what can I do?"

Without missing a single step, without glancing up, Joe quickly replied back. "Compress that head wound sport."

"On it" I heard T.k rip his shirt and seen him apply pressure to her skull.

"Come on Sora, breath!" Joe was nearly on top of her, pressing into her chest cavity. I was sure I heard a rib crack. "Matt, Now" I knelt and breathed more air into her mouth again.

I jumped as Sora gasped and her eyes flung open. "Steady, steady. Sora, It's Joe. Can you hear me? or see me?"

Joe already had a mini flash light out, checking the color and dilation of her eyes.

My heart shattered when I heard her voice. "Barely" It was followed by a series of coughs

"You passed out, and stopped breathing for moment. You hit your head on the way down, The ambulance is on it's way now. Just lay still. Matt is right here with you."

I already had hold of her delicate hand and was bent over. "Hey baby, I'm right here. It's going to be alright, I've got you"

Her voice was barely above a whisper. "I'm sorry"

I felt my throat tighten, as I fought to remain calm. "No, no you didn't do anything to be sorry for. I almost just lost you right now, if it wasn't for Joe" Sora started to cough again; I saw her wince. "Easy, just remain still." I heard my mom yell, "There here!" Before I could get another word out, The medics where running in with a stretcher and Joe stood to great them. As two of them loaded Sora up, the other got the run down.

"Can I ride with her in back?, I'm her husband."

The medic was tall and serious. "Let's go now" I didn't waste time. I jogged behind them.

**Tai's P.O.V**

For the first time since all of this happened, I had never once seemed so helpless. I wasn't even able to reach her in time. I should have been there with Matt, instead T.k was. I can honestly say, I now know what frozen with fear is. Until you see someone stop breathing and basically die, You don't know fear. T.k walked up to me.

"Hey, are we car-pooling or what? Cause I'm not waiting around here. Matt left his wallet and I know he's going to need it."

"I uh"

"Tai, Are you alright?"

It was Kari. She had come up beside T.k and I hadn't noticed. "I don't think so, no."

Kari grabbed my hand and smiled. "Hey, she pulled through, she made it. It's going to be ok. But we need to pull together and be strong right now. I know that's whats needed." I pulled my sister into a hug and just held her tightly for a moment. "Kari, I can't lose her, it would be like losing you. I'll lose my mind. I can't do this, I can't watch her die and pretend to be strong anymore." Kari stepped back and looked up at me. "Don't talk like that, she's a fighter Tai. And she wouldn't want you suffering like this. How about you get cleaned up a bit an meet us later at the hospital. Will call you if anything drastic changes. Please, you know Sora would want you to clear your mind."

I glanced at T.k, his shirt stained with blood, her blood. But I knew what my sister spoke was true. "Okay, I love you Kari. Thank you."

I knew what I had to do.

**Matt's P.O.V**

I was pacing outside her door. They wouldn't let me in yet. I heard someone calling my name. I looked up to see my mother walking up to me. "Matt, honey. Are you ok?"

I pulled my mom into a hug. "No, but I have to be."

"If there's anything else we can do, please let me know. I feel so useless right now. I could clean for the hospital if they would let me!"

I actually laughed. Only in a crises would my mother want to clean, and at a hospital.

"Mom, you shouldn't feel useless, I couldn't be more proud of my brother right now, than I am. He really pulled through for me tonight. And I know that's because he was raised by you."

"Oh honey. Thank you. I just hope she's doing ok. Why won't they let you in there?"

"Mom, Can you please keep this between us for now?"

"Sure, what is it?"

I took a breath and spoke. "Sora's body is trying to shut down, her kidneys are trying to fail and her heart is irregular. They told me, before asking me to step out, that she must have known hours before she passed out that her body was giving out." I choked at the end and wiped my eyes.

My mom just hugged me, and I wrapped my arms back around her. We stood like that for a moment. I heard my moms voice crack a little when she first tried to talk "Sweetie, just let her know, we love her, and to just be peaceful. Not to worry about all of us. It's time for her to heal and worry about her."

"Mom, I can't lose her, not like this. If she goes, I want to be with her. I don't want to be held back by this door. I want to be holding her, and telling her how strong and beautiful she is. She deserves that."

Before my mom could reply a door swung open and Dr. Wong walked out with a clipboard. "Mr. Ishida, May I have a word with you?"

I grabbed my moms hand and gave it a quick squeeze before leaving to join the doctor.

"Is she ok?"

"She's stable at the moment, I'm going to keep her in CCU for the time, But, you have some choices to make and they need to be made quickly. Unfortunately with your wife's condition, I've had to heavily medicate her and she's not able to make these choices on her own. Therefore, by law its up to you."

"Just tell me straight up, Because every time you beat around the bush and prolong whatever it is you want to tell me. I'm losing time with my dying wife. So, could you please tell me straight forward?"

The doctor looked stunned and frankly I didn't care, he should have known her care plan of action by now. "Well, as you may know; her body is shutting down, and she still has the cancer cells growing rather quickly, however. We did stun them, if you will with her treatments. If I can get her body to stay stable for the next 24 hours, I would suggest going forward with emergency surgery, for the removal, and it will be taking a huge risk."

"And if not, if we choose to wait until her scheduled time?"

"I'm saying this a little non professional, but you would be sitting her holding your wife's hand, as she passes. She won't make it past this week, not with her body trying to shut down the way it is."

"What's her chances of pulling through?"

"You're looking at 20% to 30% but it's greater than not getting this disease out of her body."

"Then do it, I won't sit here, knowing there was a chance for her to live. Bring me the papers or finish talking to me in there. If you'll excuse me, I need to go see her now." I didn't wait, I walked right past him and through the double doors and down the hall until I found her room.

I wasn't expecting to see her so entangled with machines,It nearly took my breath away. I walked over to her bed and sat in the chair next to her. I grabbed her hand and kissed it gently. She had IV's in both of them. I seen her heart monitor, a kidney monitor, an O2 censor and a oxygen mask on. You name it, it was probably hooked up.

"Sora, if you can hear me right now, I want you to know just how much I love you, and the choice I just made, it was one we both agreed on. I just pray it's one you still want, that you don't want to give up on this battle. Which I pray you don't, I can't lose you, not after we've come this far." I kissed her forehead, and wiped my eyes. I saw her stir.

"Matt?"

"Yeah, it's me."

"Am I dying?"

I didn't know what to say, in the medical term she was stable, but her body was trying to die.

"you're stable" I saw her breath in heavy and wince.

I hated this, I carefully crawled into the horrible hospital bed next to her and laid on my side. I carefully placed my arm around her stomach. I kissed her cheek and just laid in silence with her. Whatever happened tonight, I would be with her.

**Joe's P.O.V**

I walked down the hall and into the CCU waiting room, where sure enough, Every single one of them was waiting for news about Sora. I scanned the room. Izzy and Mimi where by the magazines, Mimi had thrown her hair into a messy bun and hadn't bothered to change out of her slippers. Next was Kari and T.k, whom still wore the same bloody and torn shirt from helping me earlier. T.k's mom sat next to them, rocking in her chair. She looked like she had been crying again. I knew she had come to talk with Matt, and was the only one beside myself that knew the terrible truth. Next was Sora's parents. Her mom jumped up and walked towards me. I had to let them know, she was stable but just, But scanning the room, I couldn't find Tai. Where was he?

"Everyone, She is stable, but just. The next 24 hours are crucial, IF she remains stable, the main OR Oncologist seeing over Sora's case is pushing forward with her surgery. Which means, we are in for a long next 2 days. And if I know you guys like I do. I would suggest taking shifts to run back and change into more comfortable clothes and maybe bring a pillow and or blanket. Cause I know it's no use telling you guys to head home."

Before I could even move Sora's mom was in front of me. "Joe, Thank you so much, if you hadn't have been there tonight, I don't think my daughter would still be with us." "It was nothing, just try and rest if you can Mrs. Takenouchi" I patted her shoulder as I walked out and headed for the coffee machine. I was almost there when I spotted Tai, but he wasn't alone. He was with a young girl. One I had never seen before.

* * *

**Song Matt sings - _Thinking out loud: By Ed Sheeran _**


End file.
